Hazmat Warning

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Hazmat Warning Holidays

Never give Hazmat Warning gear as gifts on any of the traditional gift-giving holidays like Christmas and Hannukah because these are examples of the worst kind of pollution. The commercialization of these celebrations is spiritual pollution. More than that, never give Hazmat Warning Gear as presents on "Hallmark" holidays like Valentines Day or Mother's Day or Father's Day. These holidays are an insult to our abilty to express our own emotions to people at the date and place and in the manner of our choosing. Instead of celebrating these bastardized and artifical events, people should focus on the ramifications of these holidays. How many trees are cut down to make the stupid cards? How many Christmas trees are slaughtered in a pathetic effort to decorate people's empty lives. How much money is wasted on presents that are bought because people are told that the exchange of gifts is a spiritual activity. If you think you've got to buy something to commemorate a random date, just buy a poor person an article of clothing (NOT a Hazmat tee shirt) or some food. At least someone needy will benefit from your pathetic inability to express your emotions.

Christmas

Do not give Hazmat clothes as gifts unless you have prooof that any part of the story of Christ is true. It only encourages weak people who persist in pretending to believe in a bizarre old fairy tale as a religion,

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Thanksgiving

Hazmat Warning be staging an anti-Thanksgiving day parade. The main themes will be (1) stealing the land from the Native Americans and then (1a) polluting it, and (2) the obscenity of a holiday centered on eating.

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Pearl Harbor, Hiroshima and Nagasaki Days

We should have a day to commemorate the atomic bomb attacks and the events leading up to them. This is intended to honor our veterans and to remind past, potential and current aggressors of the risks of making war on a free society. These commemorations will also remind out erstwhile and ostensible leaders of the power of the citizen soldier as opposed to the professional one. We will detonate explosives to remind the world about the perils of imperialism and the need to own up to the cowardice of an unprovoked attack.

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Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Exxon Valdez Days

We will celebrate the anniversary of Chernobyl and the Exxon Valdez. Special tee shirts commemorating these events will be made.
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For questions, problems and bulk and custom orders (including shirts in other colors) email info@hazmatwarning.com.

Copyright 2003-2004 Matthew Lederman