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The New Jersey State Flag

New Jersey is synonymous with toxic waste and pollution in the United States. It is our own private Chernobyl. But while the people all acknowledge New Jersey's status as the armpit of America, this achievement has been officially ignored by the Government for far too long. To remedy this grevious slight, the New Jersey state flag should be recognized as a hazmat warning sign. Failing this, the current flag should be replaced by one of these.

The current flag has served New Jersey well for around 200 years. It predates almost everything that symbolizes New Jersey today, like the Parkway, the Turnpike, mousse, and Camaros. Interestingly enough, the current state flag has a horse's head on it despite the fact that it predates the control of New Jersey by organized crime. Coincidence? Perhaps? And perhaps not?

George Washington was involved with the design of the state flag of New Jersey. And, while he was an integral part of the birth of the nation, he hasn't really done anything for us lately. The only hazmat he had any experience is horse manure. And you can't power an SUV with that. George Washington may be "the Father of our Country," but he's not the "Godfather of our Family." And times, they are a changing.

Write your state representatives. I'm sure there is someone on their staff who could read your letter to them. You can also write your governor and representatives in the United States Congress. And, if you don't live in New Jersey, write them anyway. I'm sure they love to get mail.

Proposal 1

This design is based on the extended National Fire Protection Association system with a flammabilty, health, and reactivity hazard code of 4 and the specific hazard hazard is indicated by the initials "NJ."

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Proposal 2

This design is also based on the extended NFPA system, but in this case the specific hazard is indicated by a graphic representing a map of the state.

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Proposal 3

This design is also based on the extended NFPA system, but in this case the specific hazard is indicated by a graphic of the current state seal. This design should appeal to traditionalists.

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Proposal 4

This design is based on the extended US Department of Transportation specifications. It is classified in Section 22 - Institutions and Organizations.

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